If you haven’t read my last post I suggest that you go read it, otherwise this might not make much sense.
I’m not going to lie, after publishing my last post a sense of fear came over me.
I did some shadow work, to find out where this fear came from. It boiled down to the fact, that the ones who currently rule the physical world, do not want us to remember this. Throughout history they have murdered shamans, lightworkers, witches, healers. Not only killing them, but taking the knowledge and techniques, to use to their advantage and making it harder for us to remember. (I’ll go further into how they do this in another post)
I had a long discussion with my spirit guides, I was making loads of excuses why I couldn’t do it. They lovingly reminded me “remember who you are” What do they mean by that? This might sound like an odd question, but do you know who you are?
Without labelling yourself as what you do, your interests, job, titles, roles, without all that, who are you?
Are you your thoughts? In your head say the word: hello. Can hear that voice in your head? You are the listener, the one observing the voice, not the voice itself.
So how do you find out, who you are? By working on yourself, practicing meditation. No thoughts. Becoming nothing. You will meet your higher self. Your true essence.
Your soul will leave the body and you’ll experience the purest form of love and light. It’s beautiful and feels soo familiar, like coming back home. You’ll realise that you are in the presence of god and that you are an extention of that energy.
I don’t often use the word god as I feel like religion has tainted that word, I prefer source energy/universe/spirit. But feel like I need to say god, so you can appreciate how powerful you are.
There’s no need to be scared of the ones ruling the physical world. We’re made of the strongest force in the universe; Love.
The truth is reveling itself. Everything will be exposed. This is why many people are having awakenings. My purpose is to help others on their awakening journey.
You might be thinking that I’m crazy. But I reckon there’s another voice in your head saying that it might be true. Probably because one of the rules of the universe, is that this knowledge can’t be a complete secret. What’s going on has to be at least indirectly mentioned. There’s soo many clues in song lyrics, flims, books, symbology and myths.
I love learning lyrics to songs, and that really helped me realise what’s going on. So perhaps I’ll share a song that’s relevant to what I’m talking about in each blog post.
This tune puts a smile on my face and great to have a boogie to! Coldplay are such an underrated band in my opinion.
There’s alot more coming out of my big mouth about the awakening! Follow me so you don’t miss out on my posts. Thanks for having an open mind and reading.
There’s a reason why I’m blogging, that I haven’t shared with you. Yes, to express myself, but there’s a bigger reason than that.
Before I share what my truth is, let me paint a picture of what happened in my life that led me to this truth.
Since I was a child, I knew there was something wrong with the world. Most people that I meet are good, so how come there’s soo much bad in the world?
My heart filled with sadness, as I watched corporate greed destroy mother earth. I became heavily involved with wildlife charities and protesting with Extinction Rebellion. But nothing seemed to be changing, if anything it got worse.
I felt like I how can I be happy, earning money to help run a fucked up system? What’s the point? There’s got to be more to life!? Can you relate to this? Are you searching too? The seeker shall find… Keep asking…
Around this time last year, I received some inheritance money. I made the decision to leave an unfufilling relationship, gave all my stuff away and got a one way ticket to Greece. It might seem a bit drastic, but it was exactly what I needed.
It was only when I stopped trying to save the world, and start to really get to know myself and heal my wounds, that everything became clear.
I had a spiritual awakening.
You might think, a spiritual awakening would be all peace and love. But it’s not at all. You have to explore the darkest parts of yourself, everything you’ve kept hidden, secrets that you don’t want to deal with. It’s hard, but keep going! Run to the darkness. You’ll find a light. Spoiler alert the light is You! Your higher self.
At some point in this never ending healing journey, your third eye will burst open, and you’ll receive what the spiritual community call “downloads” which is basically you remembering knowledge, about everything, why the world is how it is, what will happen in the future, the meaning of life ect.
You’re probably thinking, okay Naomi so how are we going to bring peace to the earth?
Imagine the world as a cell, everything that is from the cell is made up of the same molecules as the cell itself. This explains why we have so much turmoil in our own lives, because the world is also in turmoil.
Now imagine each microbe on an infected cell started to take control of their mind, body and soul. This changes the whole cell, because the microbes make up the cell.
Okay but Naomi, just because I awaken, that doesn’t mean everyone else will?
You might have come across the phrase “we are all connected.” Have you ever had an idea, then seen your exact idea done by someone else? This is because we share a consciousness. Although in the physical realm, it looks like we’re seperate, in the spiritual realm we’re one big energy ocean.
We’re living in a time prophesied in all ancient religions known as the great awakening.
It’s very exciting and liberating to finally write about this! I have alot to write about. But you will only fully understand and know the truth, when you’ve explored your dark side. Are you ready to take that step?
We came from the Earth Mother, Plants that turned human.
Consider how alike we are to plants:
Just as roots draw up nutrients from the Earth. We eat food that’s from the earth.
Our bodies do the work of balancing the life giving energy from the sun, with the purity of water.
Plants thrive when they’re in a community; picture a lush forest. We also need each other for friendship and support.
Plants require a home. Some form of stable ground where they can spread their roots.
Houses are like pots, A safe space, where we feel comfortable to spread our roots.
After travelling, I came back to my childhood pot. The shadows of my roots welcomed me back. Reconnected with my past self, Honouring the younger version of me. Thankful for how much I’ve grown and learnt.
As the plant grows, the roots take up all the space that’s available. A pot bound plant needs more earth to take in nutrients, but most are resilient enough to survive being pot bound. When they’re eventually repotted into a bigger home the plant experiences stress, until they have adjusted to their new home where they can thrive once more.
I liked my childhood pot, but had outgrown it. I felt a call to live in a totally new place. So I made myself homeless again. With a handful of my belongings on back, I drifted through England.
Uprooted, living in hostels, no stable ground to claim as my own, it dulled my light. I was in survival mode, didn’t have it in me to do what I love; create.
After relentlessly messaging landlords, I eventually found a pot I could call home in Exeter.
The first few days I was feeling down in my new home. The air was really thick and muggy, which added to my blues. Sleeping with the windows wide open, but no breeze graced me.
One day I was woken up at 5:30 am by heavy rain. A wide smile spread across my face. Thank you beautiful rain! I ran outside dancing, singing “FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN…”
I looked up the song, and the lyrics resonated so well with my situation. The universe is always talking to us. I’ve linked in the version with the lyrics so you can dance and sing to it too!
Thanks for reading! Expect more regular posts as I’m feeling the divine creative energy run through me.
It’s been a while since I wrote something and actually published it on here!
Mainly because I’ve been dealing with my own shit. When certain negative emotions arise, I like to take step back, analyze my brain, by asking myself questions; to find the root of the problem. This is called Shadow work.
So if you want to know how my brain works, and probably yours too, as we’re all pretty similar, carry on reading…
I was out in the fancy part of Rome.
The people were like the buildings; ozzing elegance and class.
Look down at myself, stain on my top, worn out boots, no make up, hairy armpits.
Feelings of inadequacy start bubbling up inside.
When we feel jealous of someone,
There’s two paths our mind can take.
Either, strive to be “better” than them.
This might sound like a healthy mindset, because this is what society encourages. But seeing others as competition is toxic. It can create an addiction mentality, because they’ll always be someone “better” than us.
Instead of looking within ourselves; we are taught to look outside. This mindset underpins capitalism. Which explains why depression and anxiety are prevelent today.
I call myself out, when I notice my mind going to dark places, for example with negative self talk.
“Oi thought! This mind is a place of LOVE.”
Although I’m an anti capitalist badass, we live in a capitalist world, where the conditioning is clever, we don’t even realise it. It can easily infiltrate our minds. Becoming a constant self love battle.
My initial feelings towards the fancy people was completely the opposite of striving to be like them…
“Bourgeoisie bullshit” I huffed to myself. “These people are soo fake, they only care about how they look.”
Why can’t I admire someone’s beautiful outfit, without it triggering something within me?
For me, it triggered hurt feelings, of not being able to fit in with others.
The phrase “If you can’t join them, beat them” shows how both mentalities come from the same place. Both see others as competition. Shaming others, becomes a survival tactic.
Not only does it alienate people, but it puts people into boxes, based on how they look/what they do. We like to put labels on things “good” “bad” but it’s not soo black and white.
We cannot be defined by our choices, by how we look, or even our thoughts. We are much greater. I believe we are all connected to the divine; source energy.
Basically we’re all gods and goddesses walking the earth, that have forgotten how much power we have.
Okay so we’re part of a capitalist society, but we can protect our heart and mind from toxic behaviours.
Let’s stop shaming each other.
Admire differences. Empower others.
Thanks for reading! Do you relate to anything that I’ve written? Does your mind go through similar thought patterns?
I’m going to be writing more about how internerlised capitalism affects our minds. Stay tuned…
Cycling through Greece, during the summer, isn’t the best idea! I’m glad I did it though. Gaining wisdom through experiences and anecdotes to write about!
I was staying at this cafe for four hours, reading my book, charging my phone, using the WiFi. Avoiding the 32° heat!
The Serbian waitress face lit up, when she found out I was from England.
“You’re from England! I love England!” she shrieked
As I’ve spent most of my life in England, I don’t appreciate it as much as a tourist would. I find it a bit boring. Especially comparing it to the rich Greek culture.
She went on to ask me loads of questions about where I lived, London, what my favourite boy bands are!
I reeled off some nostalgic boy bands that I would scream out the words too when I was a teenager and occasionally now and then haha.
“The Kooks, Scouting for girls, The Hoosiers”
She diligently wrote these down, then stated “Mine’s One Direction”
Of course is was, I thought. I was at school when they were on X factor. Whether you like them or not, Harry Styles was a common lunchtime topic amongst the girls.
Although the Serbian waitresses was enjoying my company. Most people don’t stay in cafés for four hours. I was trying to read the energy of the owners, are they thinking “when is this girl going to leave already”
The thing is, I would have love to get back on my bike and continue my route, but it was just too hot! I started cycling from Loutraki and was planning on cycling to Patras where I could get a boat to a Greek island or to Italy.
As the land curves round, I could see Loutraki, where I started off! “I was over there, now I’ve managed to get here, by pedalling myself, well done Naomi!” I proudly told myself.
The first night of sleeping out in nature, I kept passing potential places to set up camp. “There’s gotta be a better spot” lying to myself, I was nervous. As once you’ve found a spot and claimed it as yours for the night, it becomes real!
As it got later, darkness crept in, which made me worry even more! I settled for an abandoned area in Corinth, it really stank of poo, but thought “oh well at least I’ve found somewhere.”
You don’t realise how loud the outside world is, until you sleep in it. Sirens, dogs barking, cars, mosquitos. If you focus on the noise you’ll never get to sleep. Focus on your breathing. I started deep breathing.
Felt relaxed, until I heard footsteps, coming from the abandoned house. It was a middle aged man. My eyes widened. I darted straight for my pen knife. He saw me. He slowly started to undo his belt. Fuck! This is it! I shoved my feet into my shoes. Then looked over, to see him squating down, having a shit! Then he just sauntered off, as that was the most natural thing to do!
That smell of poo, was his! It grossed me out, so I ended up getting a hotel room.
This was a message from the universe, gently reminding me of what I already knew. Our thoughts become reality. I attracted that situation. I was already in a state of fear, before the man arrived. So naturally more fearful situations are prone to happen.
When I tell people my plans, some well meaning people project their fear on to me, I don’t discredit them, but I don’t hold on to these ideas.
Actually, the statistics show that you’re more likely to be murdered by someone you know. SOOyeah!
After this slightly scary situation, I became alot more chilled out to camping. There’s loads of vineyards in Greece, where trees are a perfect distance apart to hang a hammock. You might be gifted by falling fruit during the night!
Crickets sing through the night. Olive branch silhouettes illuminated by the stary sky. Gently rocking myself to sleep, was soo in love with those moments.
Although the birds woke me up at 5am, how could I be annoyed? They’re celebrating a brand new day! I’d wake up full of pride that I’d manage to sleep outside.
I managed 3 nights outside and 1 night in a hotel room, covering a distance of 27km. Okay, it’s not a huge amount, but I’m happy I gave it a shot! I was wasting alot of time just avoiding the heat. I’m now on a ferry to Italy! Looking forward to new adventures ahead!
I still have a few unfinished posts about Greece that I may finish and publish! So don’t be confused if I’m still talking about Greece!
It’s not soo much a love story rather things I love about Athens.
But then you could say that I’m love with Athens…
I was on a search for a secret ingredient.
What is it?
This oil that my French/Portuguese grandmother would put in her crepes to make them taste even better! She called it “Fleur d’oranger”
I don’t know where she learnt this from. Perhaps a trick passed down through generations.
I desperately hunted for it in cake shops, even in French shops they weren’t sure where to direct me.
Until I came to Greece.
Although the streets are filthy.
The bright sweet smell of orange blossom saves the day!
Most streets are lined with Orange trees. Sadly they aren’t edible. But they smell gorgeous! Everytime I smell it, I imagine my grandmother.
I found the Oil in a health food shop in Athens. Forget getting your friends Olive oil as a gift! Get them what Greece actually smells like on a spring day. Its very moisturising too, I rub it on my hands, neck, hair, cakes and crepes!
Other prominent smells are Lavender and Rosemary. They’re planted everywhere in Athens! I’m Grateful because they’re such useful herbs. I regularly go trim bushes, hang them up in bundles and make tea/ cook/ burn them.
I feel that Greeks are very much connected to nature. There’s loads of these cute little shops. I call them the Witches Market. Where you can buy dried plants, permice stones, natural sea sponges and all kinds of magical things. Some shops take care displaying goods in glass jars.
My favourite is this little messy shop. You might find an earwig hidding in the leaves. The wise old man foragers himself. Gives away nuggets of wisdom on the power of healing using plants.
Although Athens is mainly concrete, Greeks make use of their balconies growing big beautiful plants that cascade down. Seeds, leaves and bugs blowing in from the neighbours balcony, creating its own little eco system
Okay so there’s soo much I could write about Athens… I’ve decided to stick with the nature part for this post. My next blog post will be another aspect of Athens.
Growing up in a council house on benefits. With my dad and brother. No Mother to show me the way. Nits in our hair. Shoes falling apart. Skin covering bare bones.
Enviously looking at girls who adorn themselves with jewellery and beautiful fitted clothing.
Disappointed in Myself and My situation.
A heavy sense of shame followed me.
I didn’t want people to see Me.
If you’re different, you’re a target.
“Ewww you don’t shave your armpits!”
“I won’t talk to you until you shave”
Body shaming each other.
Ultimately, it’s not their fault.
We’ve been raised in a toxic system where shaming ourselves and others is considered “normal”
All of us are cogs in this mashine.
Even when you realise, that you’re a cog, it’s hard to break away from these patterns, because that’s all you’ve ever known.
Word on the streets is
This System is going Down!
From the Ashes
Grows a New System
Built on Self Love.
It starts with
Women Coming Together.
In a Safe Space.
Listening with Love.
Raising each other UP
I’m on a journey of self discovery.
How My body works.
How My mind operates.
What My heart feels.
Privileged to be part of a group of women that are doing the same.
I’m part of the Virtual Inner circle with Womben Wellness. We learn in depth knowledge about the female body and develop a relationship with our bodies.
It’s such a beautiful enriching resource. I really recommend it! Even if you can’t afford the Inner circle membership, there’s loads of free videos and guides. (This isn’t a paid advert but if you would like to work together let me know lol!)
I’m grateful for the gift of writing. It really helps me process traumatic periods in my life and uncomfortable feelings that arise from them. By reflecting and retelling the story you can learn so much about others and yourself.
My wise friend told me to “Run to the darkness. ” Explore your emotions, rather than bottling negative feelings. Although it will be hard, you will grow soo much.
Lepon… So… Here’s my growth Story.
I’d never felt so at home before!
There was no pressure to: clean, work, cook ect…
I’d be on the balcony smoking weed and gardening all day. Going on bike rides with my flatmates. Making art.
It was a sweet life.
I felt happy in my little sanctuary. The only problem was when I went outside.
A shaddy authoritative figure holds out their hand.
“bla bla speaking in Greek… “
“Yassas I don’t speak Greek”
“Show Me Your ID”
I was in total shock. I own up to my white privilege, in the whole 25 years of being alive, the first time I was stopped and asked for ID was in Greece a few months ago. Verbal randomness started flowing out of my mouth.
You know when you’re a kid and you just keep asking “why though?”
Well I’m still a kid and like to ask alot of questions.
But seriously though
“Why do you need to know who I am?”
“Have I committed a crime?”
Then they start to get funny and say something like
“Do you want to get arrested?”
I go all Lauren from the Catherine Tate show ( look it up if you can be bothered 😉
“Can I not just ask a question tho? Can’t EVEN ask a question? Are we living in a dictatorship tho? Are you going to arrest me for asking a question? Am I Bothered? Look at my face. Am I bothered? Not Bothered!”
(exaggerated the situation obvs 🙂
Or the classic.
“I’ll show you my ID if you show me yours Officer”
(sounds soo pervy lol)
“As how do I know you would give it back? I don’t know you, and certainly don’t trust you. “
Surprised that I actually got a cop to give me his personal ID.
It is perfectly within your right to ask these type of questions. I think it’s important to do so.
It reminds them that We Are Equals.
Just because they’ve been given a shiny badge by the government, does not make them superior.
They start to identify with their job title and lose who they really are.
If no one challenges them, then they’ll keep thinking they have the power.
It is also perfectly within your right, to flim the police or someone else in a public space. Be aware that some police also have cameras and mics inbeded in their uniform.
At the start of the year I went into the Athens Police Headquarters to complain about how rude and aggressive the police are.
“We’re not like England!”
This activated me into Mary Poppins…
The super Nanny for the Kako cops…
“Young man, I’m seeing alot of unacceptable behaviour around here.”
As the government tighten their control, on the protests showing solidarity for Dimitri Koufontinas. (link explaing about Koufontinas). The police displayed more aggression towards the people. Despite this, Greek people showed solidarity, and fought back.
My room mate showed me horrific videos of police abusing their power and ganging up on individuals. At my nearest metro, the police pushed people into the station and threw tear gas in an enclosed space.
Going out felt like a warzone.
I’d go past a cop I’d be like
Under my breath.
Silently praying that my friends are Daxey Laxey (okie dokie)
If any police are reading this please would you email me your answers to these questions:
What is your duty?
Who do you work for?
Are you serving the people?
Or serving the Government?
What do you Stand for?
Who Are You?
For Growth to happen you need to undergo trauma and run towards it screaming!
You might get brusied (emotionally) but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right!? Stand a little taller… Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone… ;D (you’re gonna have that stuck in your head now)
Lepon, the traumatic incidences with the police.
We were exercising our right to protest, but the protest didn’t happen as the police dispanded everyone. So we went for a coffee, sat on some grass by the side of the road.
I got comfortable.
Took my shoes off.
Having a good time when…
A group of at least 6 Team Drassi officers pull up on bikes next to us. They start encroaching on our personal space. One officer kicked my bag and scarf.
I felt threatened.
When this happens your body goes into Fight or Flight mode.
Animal instincts kick in.
This is our body’s natural way of protecting itself. This is useful, when fleeing from other animals or attacking them.
But we’re not wild animals in the jungle. Although it sure feels like it sometimes!
We can’t simply run away from our problems. We are told we have to talk to the Malaka police and give them our ID.
Your body fills up with energy. If you don’t use it, it comes out as a panic attack.
Okay, so this time, I was with my trusted Greek friends. I could see they where rationalising with the officers and that everything would be Daxey.
Wasn’t soo Daxey when I was with my friend, cycling down a road in Athens. We passed loads of riot police, we went the wrong way and had to pass them again.
Menacing black uniforms surrounded our bikes. I suggested some fresh fashion advice.
“I’d love to give your uniforms a make over. I’d put a red heart on your sleeves, to remind you to be loving and to show the people you care.”
The officer got soo pissed at this!
“We wear Black! This isn’t a game! We are at war!”
At War with Who?
Yourself I think.
Police non stop asking questions.
A lot of questions…
“Where are you going? When is your birthday? Where were you born? Where do you live? How long have you been here? Why are you trembling?”
“Because We’re SCARED!”
I’ve worked on my mental health alot recently. I can spot a panic attack coming. I ground myself using my breath. I can calm down.
However this time, I had a full hiperventaling panic attack in front of the cops.
I was scared that they were going to hurt me. I didn’t care if they took my ID. I just had to leave the toxic situation.
Some of them started to laugh at me.
How Dare they!
Disturb my peace of mind!
Make fun of someone vulnerable!
Got home, cried, shouted, made soo much art about it. But no matter what I did. I couldn’t shake out all the rage. It’s there for a reason. To be explored…
I had been triggered. I was acting out, to express my pain, calling out for attention and comfort from my loved ones.
However my friends didn’t like this behaviour and it made them react and push away from me. We’d argue. As you might imagine, I’m a good talker and stubborn. I always defend myself and my actions. It’s hard to see other points of view.
Especially, when most of us live by toxic values, that we’ve been conditioned to follow, by the system.
“Put a brave face on. ”
“Don’t show your weakness.”
“Don’t be the odd one out.”
Body shaming, sex work shame, putting others down, seriously the list can go on for ages…
Let me know what toxic value you’re un-conditioning yourself from!
I decided to follow my intuition and leave the beautiful sanctuary flat and my gorgeous little cat.
“If they can’t handle me at my worst, they don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe
Moving out was incredibly hard. There were a lot of tears! As there were many good memories in that flat.
I hope that my friend sees that there was no bad intentions in my behaviour and we can move past this.
I acknowledge that we are not are thoughts or actions. Any moment we can change the narrative of who we are.
Anyone read till the end? If you have thank you soo much for your support and love! I hope you got something, from me explaining my story.